DANCA CHRONICLES.

I have spent my whole life thinking about myself and no one else, "What if she hates me? Whaif I end up messing up? I am alone in this cruel world where depression is the order of the day.
  I smile on the outsidebut on the inside its a constant battle. I am determined to conquer but in actual fact what am I conquering? My head is boiling hot and my thoughts race constantly, "No one cares about you", I hear a voice say in my head.
 My life has been an everyday torment, when I knew not GOD, it was terrifying but when I knew GOD or met HIM, the torment came to a low key. I join a group and the next thing I know, I feel apart when I am there and together when I am apart. I wonder what makes others better and I only realise it is I that feels worse.
  I want to pray, read, sleep, I need a friend and I need no one, there are too many wants to know where exactly my direction is and the path I am to tread upon.
  I disappoint everyone but most especially I disappoint myself, I feel bad when people around me are sad but used when I do good to them.
  My world has been a fight from day one and it is true, no one knows what you are going through unless you let them know, they only understand what you show and tell them.
  If you ask me about friends, I will simply ask back, "Do they really exist?" I have been hurt too many times by the one friend I thought I could trust (myself), so, now all I see are people who try to make you happy when you are filled with so much sadness.
 I am sure your heart is filled with PITY for me, considering how miserable my life seems to be, well, do not have pity on me. My journey as only begun and I believe somewhere in my free heart that my Redeemer liveth and is coming for me *smile*. It does not end, I hope that you continue this journey with me as I make a chronicle of the vain (life). I am the Danca on a mission to conquer myself (bring my body to subjection), the worldand the vanity that eludes our soul.
            MY WEAPONS:   Holy Bible, prayer and praise, book and biro, talent, evangelism and inspiration, fun with the 'G' factor.
       REMEMBER: If you do not know me, do not judge me unless you have tried to know me.